Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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