Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
