ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
