now i know why i became what i already was.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
