The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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