Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
