Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Two words: nipple clamps
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