do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
