If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
