Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
