Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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