12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She bit a glass in half.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
