Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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