She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you win again, gameday.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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