I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he was CRYING into my vagina
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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