you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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