this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
