i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I currently don't understand fingers.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
