party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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