Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
