just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
