just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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