im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
