good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
