roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
