If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
