There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
