Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
