these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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