I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
