wrigley field is MILF paradise
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
