There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
