i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
