can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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