i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
