So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
