guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
