my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
