did you get engaged???
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
