I cannot find my penis.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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