Only a mothe r could love this liver
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
