I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
