Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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