If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
