it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i dont even know how to be here
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
