saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Are my feet made of real feet?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
