You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
That accounts for only three of the penises
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
