There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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