i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i out mim tonsoeep
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