ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
