I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
